I'm Superwoman.

 

 

 

If you don't know, now you know!  I am Superwoman! Yesterday was day 5 of the Advocare 24 day challenge for me.  It's definitely been a 'challenge!' I miss being able to eat whatever I want!  Last night my husband had a business dinner that we had to go to at a very nice Italian restaurant in downtown Nashville.  And guess what!  The menu was predetermined!! I was SO excited to have a grownup night out and go to that delicious restaurant and then it hit me- I can't eat that food.  The excitement turned instantly to dread.  I didn't want to turn down that food and I sure didn't want to be 'that' fat girl that won't eat!  I just decided to go and ask for a large salad and pay for it separately if need be.  Well, let's just say by the time I walked out of there, I was shocked. 
Let me back up.  Maggiano's is served family style, meaning all of the humongous platters are passed around the table to everyone.  Well, so much for not getting near it or sniffing it!  I'm talking over sized platters of stuffed manicotti, beef medallions soaked in some kind of creamy heaven, spaghetti and meatballs, chicken stuffed with mozzarella and spinach, mashed potatos, bread, fried ravioli, and bruschetta to name a few!  Of course the wine was flowing.  Then came dessert, again family style.  Strawberry cheesecake and tiramisu with (gasp!) coffee!!  Everything all you can eat. THEN when we went to leave, the servers brought out tray upon tray of to go wrapped servings of all of the above PLUS chicken parm and chicken rigatoni! Even the desserts!   Insanity!! It was a Gods honest free for all and for this girl on Day 5 of the cleanse...hell.  Pure, delicious smelling hell.  So what did I do, you wonder?  Well, to put it bluntly, I kicked ass.  There were a few healthy ( and way less delicious looking and smelling) offerings on the menu, thank GOD!  I ate Apple walnut salad (legal), basil tomato grilled chicken (legal), grilled asparagus (so disgusting but legal!), and grilled veggies (legal) with water with a slice of lemon.  That. Is. All.  Oh, I had about 3 olives.  It was so hard.  The poor guy beside me was so uncomfortable!  I kept passing over all the yummy food to him and he was like, "You don't want any of that? ....Oh, none of that either?"  Lol  I finally just caved and said, "I'm not some kind of weird non-eater!  I'm on a 24 day challenge at my gym." He seemed cool after that and then a bunch of us started talking about it and it was a lot less awkward!  But when that cheesecake was on its way, I quietly said to my husband, "I'm battling.  I'm battling right now."  That's what I say when I'm arguing with myself over food in my head:  *Just one bite!  No!  What will it hurt?* ect.  He was so awesome.  He wouldn't touch the coffee (one of my most missed friends!) and he said he wasn't having dessert.  He told me to stop battling, I'm not going to have 1 bite.  I can do it!  And so I didn't.  I told him to dig into that tiramisu, that I was fine and so he finally did.   I was not fine.  I felt like (I can only assume after thousands of episodes of Law & Order) a crackhead in a crackhouse!
I know this is extremely detailed and long winded and to most people sounds so crazy but when I walked out of there, I was shocked.  I couldn't believe I actually did it.  I couldn't believe I didn't take ONE bite!  And I couldn't believe it was as hard as it was.  I wish it wasn't.  It sounds so simple.  Just food.  Don't eat it.  But in the moment.....man, in the moment it is a battle!!  And I won a huge battle last night!  I know that if I can conquer Maggiano's, I can totally do this challenge and continue to kick ass!  And I know if I can-  ANYONE can, because I am weak.  I am the weakest Superwoman ever but a Superwoman nonetheless!  :)


Ps.
Here we are all snazzied up, before we went in! :) 

XOXO,

a


3 years and counting....

 

I have this cool new app called Timehop and everyday it shows me what my facebook status or instagram was on this very day in history.  So today it just happened to tell me that I started Zumba 3 years ago today!!  That is a huge milestone for me!  Zumba is what really got me going on my weight loss journey and really and truly changed my life.  It was literally the day that I switched from being 100% couch potato to ....well, an exerciser!  Lol  After doing Zumba for awhile and losing some weight, I added in some personal trainer sessions.  I didn't really care for her, but a few months later I found myself signed up at Golds Gym and starting their functional fitness class which is CrossFit (they just don't own the name).  Hardcore stuff!  These days I aim for 3 days of CrossFit and 3 days of Zumba per week.  Every so often, as I'm making my protein shake or putting on my workout clothes, I just think, who are you?!?!?  One of my friends says that I'm one of 'those' people now.  You know, the ones that work out all the time and are super fit!  Lol  Well, I'm NOT super fit and I have SO SO far to go on this journey but I kinda am one of those worker outers.  When I walk into the gym, my 4 yr old walks into the childcare and they sign him in without me even going in, I just wave through the glass....I go THAT much.  Who am I?!?! 
I'll tell you who I am, someone that couldn't stand looking in the mirror and being disgusted by herself for one more day without even trying to do anything about it.  I'm someone that took a class 3 years ago just in the off chance I might survive one hour with the skinny girls.  I'm someone that is still very much on an ever changing, evolving, some times frustrating but NEVER ending journey to be a better me. It may not be perfect but I'm never quitting.  I just can't put into words how thankful I am that I walked into that class 3 years ago today.  I can't imagine where I would be if I didn't. This is one of the pictures from the month I started Zumba: 

March 2011
 

                                             

 

I've shown it on my blog before but ugh, it's so bad. And here's one of my favorite more recent photos:

August 2013

                                                  

In full disclosure I think this is from the end of August and I may be a couple lbs heavier now (thank you holidays!!) but not much. 

I have some really exciting things coming up to help me jump start the next phase of this crazy fitness journey!  I'm so ready to gain some traction again and see some new improvements.  I've been stuck at this current weight so long that when I look in the mirror these days......well, I see more of the top photo than the bottom.  But it's all good, good things are acomin' and I'll be sharing with you all soon! :D

XOXO
a

I don't have time to work out.

I just don't.
You know how so many people say they don't have time to work out?  Or they're too tired by the time they do have a minute?  It's true.  It takes tremendous effort for the average person (i.e. me) to get to the gym 4-5 days a week!  Sure, there are days where all the stars align and it's easy, but the majority of the time, it's really hard!  I try to schedule M-W-F: CrossFit and Tu-Th-Sat: Zumba.  It works on paper! But then real life and my J-O-B kick in and all hell breaks loose!  See, Tues and Thurs my son has to be dropped off at preK at the same time CrossFit starts so those days CrossFit is out but they work perfect for Zumba at night, BUT weeks like these, my daughter has to cheer  Mon, Tues AND Thurs at basketball games. So, here I am.  What to do, what to do....well, there's the obvious (for some) and easy choice: No Zumba this week!  No big deal!  There's always next week- but wait, she cheers next week too.  Well, next week is her official last week of cheer so that's good!  But wait there's more!! (<---in my infomercial voice) There will probably be some type of tournament after that.  Then before we know it we are headed into Softball and Teeball for the siblings.  It. Doesn't. End.

I'm not going on and on about my schedule in hopes of someone offering to come super nanny and chauffeur my kids for free!  I don't want to lose my job!  That's why I make the big bucks! And by 'big bucks' I mean kisses and beautiful coloring pages saying "I love you mom" to go on my fridge.  I say all this to show, it really is hard to fit in a consistent exercise routine, even for the (gasp) stay at home mom.  Now, I am left with a decision to miss juuuuust one game of my daughter cheering this week (out of SIX!) and feel the pang of mommy guilt (what will all the other mommies think?!?  will my daughter be scarred for life???)  or to be selfish. Yes, selfish.  Take this one hour away from everyone else and go to Zumba.  Not because I will die if I miss this one class but because it will always be something.  I have to learn to make. It. Work.  Fit it in.  Go above and beyond and juggle the schedule until I can squeeze in 1 hour for me a day to get healthier.  I have to hope my kids and husband (and maybe the other moms?  No.  They think I suck.) will understand that I'm doing this for all of us!  I have to believe that it's sending a good positive message to my kids that being fit and getting daily exercise has to have a place in our daily activities. 

There are days when my schedule allows me to go but I am exhausted  ....I still try to push myself to go.  It's easy to go to the gym when everything lines up, your schedule is clear, you've had just the right amount of caffeine and you're feeling on top of the world!  I'm learning the difference in those that make true progress and those that don't are the ones that really push themselves to go when every bone in their body is yelling nooooo!  Go sit down and relax!!! You've earned it! I'm learning that the difference in those that make true progress and those that don't are the ones that find a way to get there, day after day, after day!  I always thought that people that went to the gym were 'gym people.'  Obviously not 'normal' people like me!  But I'm starting to realize, those are just everyday people that know that you have to make some sacrifices and get there.  They did that and now they look like 'gym people.' 

*sigh*  I'm rambling.  I guess my point is, it really is true when people say they don't have the time to exercise.  They just have to make it.   Tonight, I'm making the time. **pang**

XOXO,
a

525,600 minutes

I kicked off my "Back to working out like I mean it" yesterday morning by getting up early and going to CrossFit and was pretty happy with myself.  Then last night I really felt like a hardcore fitness chick when I bundled up and headed to Zumba when it was snowing, no, make that BLIZZARDING, ok...hard flurrying, and 20 degrees!  (I know, I know, it doesn't take much to make me think I'm hardcore, does it!!?? :D  )

I had a great workout, burned tons of calories and had even more fun doing it!  Before I knew it, it was the last song.  The 'cool down' song.  Last night my instructor played (in honor of the New Year of course!) the '525, 600 minutes' song from Rent.  It's so good!  Do you know it???

"525,600 minutes,
525,000 moments so dear.
525,600 minutes - how do you measure,
measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee?
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife?
In 525,600 minutes - how do you
measure a year in the life?
How about love?"
Seriously if you haven't ever heard it, stop reading this and watch it above!!!
Anyway, as we were stretching and breathing and plie-ing, this is how my thought process went:
~Oh!  I love this song!  Woop woop!
*and plié*
~525,600 minutes.....we just finished another year....she played this on purpose....so clever!
*and stretch to the right*
~A year, 525,600 minutes gone and I am not down one pound on the scale.
*and arm behind my head*
~I have wasted this whole year!!!!!  OMG!!! I SUCK!!  *getting teary now*
*and reach for my toes*
~How did this happen?  *they're mocking me now!!* "525,600 minutes!!!!!!" and what have I done with it??!?!?
*and shoulder roll*
~Another year GONE on my journey to a healthier/skinnier/better me. UGH!!!!
*and reeeeeach*
~ The Flipagram!!! (read: fancy schmancy techno-slideshow I made this week of my family and every thing we did in 2013.)
*and flat back* *flashes of my babies laughing, flipping on the beach, posing in Disney world, joining new teams, boating,  making new memories*
~That Flipagram was flipping awesome!! We did some very cool stuff over the last 525,600 minutes!!  To say I wasted the year is crazy and simple minded really!!
*and grab ankles*
~2013 was awesome.  I didn't reach my fitness goals but I didn't go back to all of my old habits.  I didn't gain it all back!  I'm a CrossFitter for Gods sake!!!
*and roll up*
~I DID get stronger in 2013 and 2014 is going to be even better!!  For real.
*and plié*

 

~Ahhhh, I love this song.

And? And that was how I ended my first day of working out during my brand spanking new set of 525,600 minutes.  Positive.  Happy.  Proud.  Determined.



The afore mentioned Flipagram for your viewing pleasure! :p